Internet Pimp by dumbfoundead

Check out this spoken word piece called Internet Pimp by dumbfoundead when he was younger. From the lyrics, it looks like it was when MySpace was hot. Remember those days? Anywayz, tight lines from dumbfoundead. This might just end up on the404, techcrunch, mashable, and other tech sites.

“I am the internet pimp, the highway of information’s don juan.”

Internet Pimp by dumbfoundead

Lyrics to Internet Pimp by dumbfoundead

My username is lose your brain,

And my password is asterisks,

Log on, sign in, input the masterdisk,

Light up the cancerstick,

And be ready to capture bliss,

24 hours a day, sex pervs, tech nerds,

video game experts, surf the networks wetturf,

but all that typing makes my pex burn,

and all that downloadable music makes my neck jerk,

and all those free movies when will shrek learn,

but Im the biggest pimp on the internet,

winterfresh, so watch your mouth and your fingers when you enter text,

No, I dont have a big ass fur coat a cane or a stack of bills moneyclipped,

But more hoes than santa clause on my buddy list,

Is something funny bitch?

A pimp slap to the smiley face is all these honeys get,

That’s right I am the internet pimp,

And if your profile picture meets with my approval,

You will get my IP address, the internet pimps address,

Stop hatin youd love to join my hot asian import car models where my top 8 is,

My friends list is endless, and if you wanna get in this send pics,

Why wait, log into myspace,

and write me a paragraph long comment about how Im great,

Im looking for 58s, tight waist, with a dimes face,

Maybe an older woman with a fine wines taste,

Okay okay, what havent I touched on,

Oh yea, f*ck tom!,

It aint personal but if you gonna steal my hoes let a person know, urgent bro,

And a ten picture limit isnt enough to showcase my urban clothes,

Im calling all internet whores,

azncutie69, bootylicious86, & sexy underscore hoodrat420 but no uglies,

the type that doesnt look good in pictures even if they had plastic surgery or photoshop touches,

I want some no strings attached or as I like to call it wireless sex,

A webcam with high resolution so I can admire there breasts,

When the firewire connects,

But its hard to google a good woman these days just ask jeeves,

I spent all last week, in front of my monitor with half asleep ass cheeks,

But I did talk to this one girl for awhile,

I mustve typed that rocks about twenty times on caps lock,

Until I found out she was a fat broad thank god,

The internet pimping game has changed since I came along, on aim Im god,

While youre just a matrix pawn,

Im fucking with a 3ghz while youre on a basic comp,

With dsl, we excelled, free email to send my skeet skeet tales,

I am the internet pimp, the highway of informations don juan,

Oh sh1t! dinners ready, Ill log back on once my moms gone,

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